Back when my daughter was just a twinkle in my eye, I was saving for my wedding and thinking about the future. I dreamt of being a stay at home mom, that was my desire, but I never thought it could be a reality. My husband and I worked together for an ISP (internet service provider) at the time, that is actually where we met. I despised the job completely and couldn’t wait to be able to take some time off when we did eventually have kids, more to get away from the job than anything else. It’s horrible to hate your job and feel stuck there at the same time, because lets face it.. We all need those pay checks to survive!
Fast forward a few years and my husband changed jobs a few times, which lead us to greater things. He now luckily earns enough for me to stay at home and I LOVE IT! I get to spend every day with my amazing daughter who lights up my life! I get to blog which I enjoy immensely, I am truly blessed and extremely lucky.
The Not So Great Part
There is however, a downside to us being financially comfortable. My husband works away.. a lot! He is often jetting around the world to meet customers and having lots of fun doing it. More often than not he is out wining and dining with customers in fancy restaurants and having drinks until the wee hours, all while I change my 3rd crappy nappy of the day! Talk about living completely different lives! I think it is safe to say for a couple who started our journey in the same place (career wise) we couldn’t be in more opposite roles now. It’s tough for us both when he works away, so I’d like to share my experiences and tips on how to survive, not only alone with a little one, but how to keep a happy marriage in the meantime. I offer my experiences in the hope that I can help any other parents out there in a similar situation.
I find this one invaluable!
When I am home alone with the little person, I have to stay on top of housework. Nap times are a little bit like an episode of the crystal maze (showing my age here). Once the little one is asleep, its a dash against time to get as much done as possible before she wakes up again. I run around the house like a headless chicken in my pjs doing sixty five jobs all at once. I imagine it would be quite funny to watch, remind me to vlog it one time! Of course, I am only human and sometimes I curl up on the sofa with some rubbish TV, drink tea and eat my weight in chocolate cookies instead. Whilst thinking “I totally deserve this, the housework can do one!”
Even though your husband is snoring away getting the best nights sleep EVER, in a queen sized bed in a posh hotel in Dubai, after a night of gorgeous food, drinks and fun activities. Whilst you just got up for the 8th time with your teething baby, you haven’t showered in a while or slept a full night in even longer. As hard as it may be, don’t resent your partner for it. I can guarantee no matter how much fun he’s having. He would give anything to be there with his family instead. Try to remember he is the one missing out on the morning snuggles, the first words, the hilarious moments you didn’t manage to catch on camera. Its tough for both of you! Be kind and understanding with each other, It will help to keep you close when you are thousands of miles apart.
Make Up For Lost Time
When you are all together, make the most of it. Go out for breakfast together, make memories while you have the time as a family. It’s hard not to dread the next trip but it will make things a little more bearable if you just focus on day to day and how to make that great. Waiting for the next trip can drag everyone down, think positive and be grateful for the time you have together.
They say it takes a village to raise a child! I believe this to be true.
Call on your family and friends, make sure you have someone to help out should you need it. I don’t know how I would cope without my network and my amazing mom especially! She is there for us at the drop of a hat and I am so lucky to have her! (shout out to you mummy) It’s important to be able to call on your people not only when you are home alone with the little person/people, but when your partner is at home too. Get that time alone together while you can. Never stop dating! It’s important not to get lost in this crazy parenting life and forget why you wanted to be together in the first place. You are the foundations on which everything else rests. Look after that bond with your partner!
Keep yourself busy! Make plans for your week, have coffee with friends, take your little ones for play dates, The support of other mums is so important and nobody will understand how you feel like they do. Have a rant safe in the knowledge that you are not alone. It works wonders.. I have tried and tested it!
This one speaks for itself, once the baby is tucked up in bed, a glass or 2 of the good stuff is sometimes just what you need to carry on doing an awesome job at being a wonderful supermom! Go on… pour a large one!
Other parents often ask me how I do it? It’s like anything.. you get used to it and you make the best of it. I love having the time just me and my girl, but I also love having my husband here at home with us.
We are all just doing our best!
Keep up the good work parents! I salute you!
Love From Me <3